


Hold On

by Paperrkites



Category: Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ethan is worried, Ethan just wants Benji to be safe, Falling In Love, Hurt Benji, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Memory Loss, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:21:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29842149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paperrkites/pseuds/Paperrkites
Summary: After a mission goes wrong and the team split up, Ethan and Benji find themselves trying to get to the extraction point - one with a bullet wound, the other with a concussion.
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a random idea, but I love these two and I was bored. :)

It should have been easy.

Get into a ski resort hotel, disrupt the arms deal taking place in the back and then confiscate a newly developed missile, designed specifically for a dangerous criminal group, who will do god knows what with it. It was supposed to be an in and out operation. No casualties. They weren’t going to know that they were coming.

So why had it gone so wrong?

It turned out they not only knew of their arrival, but also of their identities. The instant their team entered that hotel, it had been a bloodbath. Ethan noted at least three guests had been killed in the gunfire and, during the chaos, their team had split up. Brandt, fortunately, had managed to get an injured Luther back to the van, although Benji had been chased out the back and Ethan, onto the second floor.

“Ethan, Benji? Do you copy?”

“Yes, I copy. Can’t hold these guys back for much longer though. They’ve got me cornered in a room. Benji?”

“Yes.. copy..” Benji panted through the comms, back flat against a storage shed. “I can’t move from my position. They’re everywhere!”

“What the hell happened in there?" Brandt exclaimed, "I thought they didn’t know we were coming!”

“I don’t know. There must be a traitor in the IMF, that’s all I can think of.”

“Is there any way at all you guys can get to the van? I don’t know how long it will take until they find it. And Luther needs medical attention, his leg’s pretty messed up!”

Ethan cursed under his breath as the door he’d barricaded with a chair rattled vigorously. “It’s okay. You guys go, get to the extraction point. We’ll get there soon.”

“Ethan! How the hell are you going to get there without transport! It’s an hour drive, and that’s on the road! You’ll have to go cross country! It’ll take you hours! If you don’t freeze or fall to your deaths by then!”

“Brandt, let us worry about that. Fall back to plan B. We know where they’re taking the missile next. It’ll be trickier to extract than picking it up here, but with back up, you should be successful.”

“Ethan-“

“Brandt, that’s an order.”

There was silence.

“Brandt!”

“Fine. Good luck Ethan.”

Ethan backed away from the door, racking his brains for a way out of this.

“Uh, Ethan? I don’t know if you’ve thought about this, but, how exactly will we get out of here to even start the journey to the extraction point? I mean, you said you were cornered in a room. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not doubting you or anything, but you aren’t actually trapped, right? And, I know I’m rambling right now, but I’m really hoping you have a way out of there. Unless it’s through a window. Don’t you dare jump through a window again!”

“Benji!”

“Yes, what?”

“Don’t worry! And please, stop talking.”

“Right, sorry.”

The chair splintered as the door was forced open and three armed men crashed into the room, followed by a smaller, wiry man in a suit.

“Ethan Hunt. We meet at last.”

Ethan held his gun steady. “Who the hell are you?”

“Yes, well, I didn’t think you’d have seen me around the office. You do tend to spend most of you time in the field. But whilst you’ve been running around with your little team playing hero, I’ve been holed up filling out paperwork or sending the likes of you mission information.”

“You’re the IMF traitor!”

“Whoa, traitor is a bit harsh. I’m just doing what needs to be done. And now you’re in the way. I used to admire you, Hunt, but overtime I just got sick of it. Sick of all the stories told constantly around the office, all the praise. Your perfect team, your perfect job, your perfect life.”

“Ethan! They’ve found me. Took a few out, but there’s more. I’m heading back to where you are. I really hope you have a plan!”

Ethan didn’t respond, not wanting to draw anymore attention to Benji. Instead, he turned on the man in front of him.

“Perfect job? I don’t do this for the praise. I do it to save lives. There are dangerous people out there, people like you, that need to be stopped before they harm anyone. The only truth you speak of is my team. Yes, they are perfect. Because they risk their lives for the good of others. I don’t see you doing that!”

The man bristled, visibly angered at the thought, again, of him being a traitor. “Ethan Hunt, I’m afraid I have strict orders. I need you to call off any back up you have waiting, leave us to deliver the missile to the right people.”

“They are NOT the right people and you know it! They’ll use that bomb to kill thousands!”

The man sighed. “Yes, well, I didn’t think you’d just give in like that. Take him!”

This was what he’d been waiting for. Just as the men moved forwards, Ethan hurtled over the bed in the centre of the room and dove towards the window. He curled his arms over his head as his body met glass and the next thing he knew, he was falling, the sound of shattering ringing in his ears.

Ethan landed neatly on his feet, gun out and ready to shoot the man storming towards him. But there was no need.

“I thought I told you NO windows!!”

As his friend reached his side, Ethan grinned. “Come on Benji, where’s the excitement in that?”

Benji rolled his eyes, though unable to hide his own smile, and allowed Ethan to lead him through the snow covered trees behind the hotel. They barely made it far however, when a shout sounded, followed by gun shots. The chase was on.

Both men hurtled through the forest, trying to reach the edge of the mountain where they could begin their descent to the other side. Benji flinched as bark from trees splintered in front of him and a bullet just missed his head. He tried to keep up with Ethan’s ridiculous speed, though he was sure the man was being deliberately slower so that he wouldn’t be left behind.

Eventually they left the cover of trees. Just as Benji was catching up with him, Ethan suddenly stopped, causing a collision which ended in an unceremonious crash to the floor. Except for the fact there was no floor. Instead, they both found themselves on their stomachs, looking over a relatively high cliff.

Benji whistled as Ethan helped him to his feet. “Woah, that’s a big drop. Wouldn’t want to fall down there.”

“Damn, I thought this would be an easier way down.”

“Woah woah woah, hold on a tic. That sounds like you’re still considering this as an option for getting down there!”

“Well, if we climb down... I mean, the snows probably deep enough to break a fall halfway... But your right, we probably don’t have time. We’ll need to move along, find a way down that isn’t as steep. But we’ll have to be quick, they’ll be out of the trees soon.”

“Or now!” Benji squeaked, pointing to where the men had broken from the trees and into the clearing.

Ethan cursed again. His eyes flickered between their opponents, counting eight men and the leader.

“Ethan, Ethan, Ethan. I see you have a little friend there. Thought you two could get away did you? Don’t worry, I need you alive. My boys were only trying to harm, not kill.”

“Your ‘boys’ aren’t very good at shooting then!” Benji yelled.

“Feisty, aren’t you? Tell you what Hunt, you come with me and I don’t kill your friend.”

“I’m not giving you anything, so you might as well just kill me right here, right now. Just, leave him alone, he’s of no use to you.”

“Oh, well. You know what, you’re right Ethan. I guess he is of no use to me. I’ll show you how serious I am about this.”

The man raised his gun towards Benji and pulled the trigger.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Ethan heard himself yelling, and next thing he knew he was throwing himself in front of his friend. Pain tore through his arm, sending it flying backwards, hitting the younger man behind him as he used himself as a human shield. And then he couldn’t feel anyone there. Ethan got his footing before he fell over, and spun around to see where Benji had gone.

And then his stomach dropped.

Just like how Benji had dropped.   
Dropped out of view. Dropped over the edge.

The bullet wound was a mere scrape compared to what he felt now, running through his body. But there was no time to gaze hopelessly down below. Ethan pushed all his anguish into outrage. He let out a heart breaking battle cry, pulled out his gun and fought the eight men with a vicious fury, killing them all before rounding on the traitor. But he wasn’t just a traitor anymore. He was a man who’d hurt Benji. And he was going to pay.

“No, please, Ethan! They paid me money, they threatened my family. I had to, I had no choice!"

Ethan disarmed him, then threw him to the ground, pinning him into the snow with a hand tight around his neck. “You have no excuses! NO excuses for what you’ve just done!” He seethed, his hand tightening.

The man choked, trying to get words out. “Th-ey pr-om-ised my fam-ily wou-ld get m-mon-ey. I had to, I- ple-ase!”

Ethan brought his gun to the man’s head, and without further hesitation, shot him dead. He fell back into the snow, dropping his gun as the anger was flooded with shame and guilt. He didn’t know if Benji was even dead, and he’d killed - no, murdered all these men in cold blood. But they were going to kill Benji. They hurt Benji.

Benji!

Ethan near skidded over the side of the cliff in his hurry to get over there. Looking down, there was just a large expanse of white.

His heart in his throat, his body numb, Ethan began to quickly climb down the side of the rock.

Both to his relief and to his dismay, he found Benji a few metres away from the bottom of the cliff. He’d obviously rolled from his landing position and came to a halt when his head collided with a sharp stone jutting out from the snow. 

Ethan pulled his friend onto his back, brushing off the white powder coating his clothes and face. He found a strong pulse. The snow must have been deep enough to break his fall. Ethan's fingertips moved up to meet the warm blood oozing from Benji’s temple

“Benji. Benji, can you hear me? Benji, wake up!”

Benji stirred, his eyes heavy lidded and glazed over when he stared up at him, or rather, through him. Ethan crouched closer. “Benji, it’s me. Are you in there?” He forced a smile, trying to bring him back. “Benji, can you hear me?"

Benji blinked a few times, and his vision cleared slightly, though it still seemed cloudy. Concussion, Ethan concluded.

“Ethan? What happened?”

“Benji, do you feel okay? You.. you fell. But it’s okay, we’re safe now.”

“O-oh, okay.” Benji sat up, moving slowly, pressing the heels of both hands against his forehead. “Wow, god, that is painful!” He groaned.

Ethan instantly placed a hand on Benji’s shoulder. “Hey, take it easy, you hit your head pretty hard.” Ethan pulled Benji’s tie from his shirt, and fashioned a bandage around his head. “I’m afraid we are going to have to start moving soon though. It will get dark in a few hours, and we should reach the extraction point before then.”

Benji looked around the surroundings, confusion settling on his face. “Why is it snowing?”

Ethan frowned, looking around as well. “It’s been snowing since we got here.”

Benji looked around a bit more, then his gaze focused on Ethan, his face serious. “Ethan, I- when did we get here? Where are we? Are we on a mission? Where’s Luther and Brandt? Why can’t I remember what happened? Ethan, why can’t I-“

“Hey hey, shh, calm down. It’s okay, don’t panic. You’ve just hit your head.” Ethan told him, his calm voice threatening to crack with worry. “Here, how many fingers am I holding up?”

He watched as Benji blinked hard and tried to switch his focus from Ethan’s face to his hand. He took deep breaths, trying to fight back the nausea. “Way too many.”

Ethan bit his lip, this concussion was worse than he’d thought. He’d have to keep an eye on him.

“Right, Benji, we are on a mission and we need to get to the extraction point. I know you’re confused right now, but I’ll be here to protect you. If you still don’t remember anything once were out of here, I’ll explain everything. Are you okay with that Benji?”

Benji blinked again, trying to keep his vision focused back on Ethan. “Yeah, sounds okay. Let’s get to that extraction point then.” He blinked a few more times, then without warning, stood abruptly, toppling into Ethan, who held him tightly against his chest.

“Take it slow Benji!”

“M’fine!”

Benji pushed away from the comfort of Ethan's embrace, waiting for him to lead on. The older man waited for Benji to gain balance, then started heading off in the predicted direction of the extraction point.

"Oh Ethan, you're hurt!" Benji realised, noticing Ethan's blood soaked arm. "Here." Benji took the tie from his head after checking his own wound, and approaching Ethan.

"No wait, you need that for your head!"

"It's okay, it isn't really bleeding much, see? And besides, I can't feel any pain there." This was almost true. The pain was ebbing away, only to be replaced by light headedness and nausea. "Please, I insist. You'll bleed out, and we need one of us conscious!" Benji grinned.

Ethan didn't smile, his face stony. "Fine, but you tell me if something's wrong, okay?"

Benji nodded, wincing. "Yeah, yeah, 'course."

Ethan stopped walking, allowing Benji to wrap the tie around his bullet wound, before they continued walking through the deepening snow.

"We need to get to higher ground to contact Brandt about our location. I'm not exactly sure where we're headed."

"Sure." Benji agreed, though not really hearing him. His head was static and his vision fading slighty around the edges, but he just kept following the figure infront of him, his squinted eyes focused on the glaring white ground.

Eventually he felt himself walking up a slope, and grey rocks started appearing through the snow. They stopped walking once they'd got as high as they could, Benji panting hard and the world swaying before his eyes. There was a vertical rock face not far from him, and he decided it would make for a nice support. He took a few steps and leaned on it heavily, his cheek pressed against the cool surface. He took deep breaths through his nose to fight back the dizziness.

"Benji?" Ethan asked, placing a hand on his arm.

"Yes, I'm fine, no problem. Just need a moment. This rock is nice. Comfy rock." He mumbled, delerious, patting the surface.

Ethan's brow furrowed in concern. "I'm going to contact Brandt. Don't worry, we'll get you the rest you need soon. Just.. hold on, okay?"

Benji hummed in response, pressing his face further into the rock. Ethan moved to a higher point, then switched on his comms. He winced at the immediate crackling. "Brandt? Do you copy? It's Ethan. Brandt?"

The crackling got louder, and then was replaced with a harsh voice.

"Ethan, my god, where are you? You guys okay? We're just arriving at the extraction point now."

Ethan glanced over at the groaning Benji. "There were some complications, but we'll get through. I need to know our location, and where we are going."

"Yes, right.."

There was some shifting and then some muttered voices.

"Luther's onto it. You stay there for now and we'll get back to you in a second."

Ethan headed back over to Benji, who had left the wall to try standing on his own.

It didn't feel impossible anymore, just uncomfortable. Of course, the worst thing was, it wasn't going to get any better anytime soon. More likely the opposite. But the sooner he got himself together now, the quicker they'd make it to the extraction point.

"Which way then?" he asked Ethan.

"Luther's just determinig that now. You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." He lied through gritted teeth. Ethan raised his eyebrow, but before he could push the matter further, his earpiece crackled into Luther's voice.

"Ethan, you're right in the middle of a pretty big mountain range. Not sure how you managed to get there, but it definately wasn't the way I would've gone. That being said, you just need to cut across said mountains and you'll be reachable by helicopter. It's just the case of how you'll get across. Now, you can either go up and over, or through a cave nearby."

Ethan hesitated. Neither option sounded suitable for Benji's concussion. "What do you recommend Luther?"

"Well, we don't know how stable the caves are, nor do we know if there's actually a path all the way through. However, you both have flashlights on your guns and there's a nasty storm heading your way that you may get caught in if you are exposed. You'll also have to get over at least three mountains."

Ethan shut his eyes, not liking what this was leading to one bit. "I guess we'll take the caves then."

"Ethan, are you sure? We won't be able to contact you down there. If something happens..."

"I know, I know. But we have a better chance making it down there than up here. I don't know how long Benji will last if we get caught up in a snow storm."

"Is he okay?"

"Yes, he'll be fine. Just.. we better get a move on. Where is this cave?"

"Head back down, south-east. Ethan.. I don't like this."

"Neither do I Luther, but we can do it. We've got through worse."

"Good luck Ethan. You better make it."

"Come on Luther, it's me! 'Course I'll make it!" Ethan laughed, though it sounded hollow. He wasn't worried about himself making it or not. 

He didn't know how long they had before Benji's concussion got worse, and wasn't sure whether he'd be able to carry him through whatever was down there.


	2. Chapter 2

They'd made their way slowly back down the side of the small mountain, now standing in front of a large, dark opening. Ethan switched on his gun's flashlight, sliding it off the weapon and clipping it to his jacket. Benji followed suit. Then the two agents shared a look, before heading into the rocks.

Benji did his best to walk normally to keep Ethan from worrying, even though his legs still felt wobbly and everything was ever so slightly blurred.

Ethan led the way through the large passage, which was getting smaller as they went. Eventually, they reached a place where it became so low that walking upright wouldn't do anymore. Taking advantage of the break, Benji leaned on the nearest wall.

"It's a little tight, you have to go through on all fours, but it's not a very long way." Ethan motioned at the tunnel ahead of them. "You go first." He moved aside so Benji could squeeze past. He wanted to keep an eye one him.

Benji nodded and crouched to the ground, glad to have the wall close by. He really hoped they wouldn't need to do anything more athletic than this. Then again, crawling on all fours was much more comfortable than walking upright.

At the other side of the tunnel, he found himself in a big chamber, the ceiling covered in stalagtites.

"Woah." Benji breathed, marvelling at the impressive sight.

Ethan joined him quickly, taking in the view before them.

"Yeah." He agreed, his eyes falling onto Benji. The younger man's eyes seemed clearer than they'd been before, and he smiled at the look of wonder on his face. "Come on." Ethan said eventually, patting him on the back.

"Where do we go now? The next passage is on the other side of this chasm."

Ethan pointed below them where a river winded through the chasm. "We go round, find a way down to the river and follow it upstream to the passage. It's our best bet."

Benji nodded tiredly. "Well then, lead the way."

The adrenaline boost from seeing the chamber was fading away all too quickly and Benji was starting to fully register the dazed state he was in. As they began to move again, his vision greyed out for a few seconds, but Ethan didn't seem to notice. As he stumbled forwards in a haze, he wondered how much longer he could hang on.

Ethan kept expecting Benji to start a conversation, or at least go off on one of his rambles, but he was being worryingly quiet. He'd hoped he was feeling better, after seeing his clearing vision, but he'd been wrong. Benji was walking a bit behind him, following his lead and staring at his feet, instead of looking around.

They walked through a wide passage for a few minutes, and then Ethan stopped. "This will do." He said, stopping at one of the walls. "We can get down to the river from here."

At first, Benji didn't see what he was gesturing at. When he did, he felt his heart rate speed up. There was an opening in the wall so low that he would never have considered it as a way down.

"Ethan, I can't-"

Ethan moved over to Benji, who was leaning on the wall for support. "It's okay, I promise I won't let anything happen to you. I will make sure you get through this, okay Benji? But you'll have to trust me."

Benji swallowed, staring warily at the small gap. Then, slowly, he nodded.

"Right, I'll go first to check if there is a way down, then I'll come back and guide you through."

Ethan crouched down, then slipped into the passage, disappearing from view. Benji grasped the cave wall as his stress brought on a wave of dizziness. He breathed hard, whimpering slightly at the awful feeling. He pushed his head into the rock like before, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

He didn't know how long it had been before he heard a scraping noise, and he quickly regained his composure before Ethan reappeared from the hole.

"Yep, leads right to an area where we can safely get down to the river. It's a bit of a squeeze, but it's safe. You go first so I can help you through."

Benji didn't respond, his nerves silencing him. He moved towards the entrance and crouched down. Taking a deep breath, he slipped into the gap.

The passage was a little larger than he'd thought at first. He could actually fit through it on his knees and elbows. He tried not to think too much about collapsing tunnels and pushed on. Ethan was counting on him to get through this. He wasn't going to let him down.

Ethan watched Benji carefully as his friend moved slowly and shakily ahead of him. He felt his heart clench whenever he stopped, but it was never for too long, and so Ethan could breathe again.

Eventually Benji's shoes disappeared from view and he heard a sigh of relief. Ethan grinned, speeding up to join him on the other side.

The walls disappeared from around him, turning into an opening above a wide riverbank made up of rocks and boulders. The roar of running water was very loud and Ethan could feel the light spray of water as it crashed over rocks.

Benji was sitting on the ground right next to the opening, staring into the distance. Relieved that he had made it safely through the tunnel, Ethan sat down beside him, getting some rest before their trek across the river.

"There's an easy way down the rocks over there! That's how we will get down to the river!" He told him over the noise.

After a while, he realised that Benji's forehead was resting on his shoulder, and he was leaning on him heavily.

"Benji?"

His head snapped up and he blinked at Ethan blearily, raising his hand to rub at his eyes. "Oh, sorry! Do we need to go?"

Ethan moved so he was in front of Benji, his hands placed either side of his face. "Benji, it is vital that you stay awake, okay? I know it's difficult, but we need to get out of here."

Benji nodded guiltily, feeling like he'd let Ethan down after all. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault, just, hold on for me."

Ethan got to his feet and gently helped Benji up to his. They both managed to climb smoothly down to the river, Ethan guiding Benji's steps as they went.

"Okay. It looks like we can go this way, against the wall. It's quite a narrow path, but there seems to be good hand holds." He cast a worried look at Benji, not sure the man would be able to swim if it came to it.

Benji found it difficult to concentrate on what Ethan was saying, especially with the roaring of the water drowning out some of the words. He realised his eyelids were sliding shut again, his head drooping, when Ethan raised his voice. "So, you ready?"

His eyes shot open again and he saw Ethan, luckily, looking out across the river, so he hadn't noticed his slight blip.

"Yeah." He replied, a little too quickly and loudly to escape Ethan's suspicions.

"We can do this Benji."

The technician nodded, fighting the drowsiness that tried to consume him. He followed Ethan as he began to edge his way up the river bank, pressing his side hard against the wall to keep his balance. He tried not to look down into the river, the swirling water making his head spin. Instead he focused on Ethan, copying his moves to stay firmly on the narrow ledge.

Benji squirmed under the cold sweat trickling over his body, gulping down the rising nausea. His head was pounding with fogginess and he wanted to close his eyes and sleep so badly and- no, focus.

He turned his attention to the path ahead of him just in time to stop before he collided with Ethan, who had turned to face him. Benji couldn't meet the worried gaze boring into him, and stared across the river instead.

"You doing okay?"

Benji swallowed the thickness in his throat. "I'm good." His voice came out shaky, causing Ethan's concern to rise.

"We're nearly there." He pointed across the river to large, solid ground infront of the wide passage they'd been trying to get to. "Here look, there's a way across." Ethan pointed at the narrow rocks jutting up from the river, forming a makeshift path.

Ethan stepped onto it, holding tightly to the edge of the rock as he began to climb across, wincing at the strain on his bullet wound. "Follow my lead! Put your hands and feet where I put mine."

Benji cursed under his breath, pulling himself onto the rock beside Ethan, arms trembling. Finding holds wasn't hard, especially since he could do it by feeling around without needing to look. The walls were wet, but the strong holds meant there was little risk of slipping accidentally.

He was almost over the middle of the river, when a particularly bad wave of dizziness washed over him. His hand missed the next hold as his vision blacked out. Next thing he knew, everything was silent. Everything was dark. And he couldn't breathe. His brain sent an alarm signal through his body, completely waking him up as he thrashed in the icy river that was suddenly dragging him down, along with the current. He reached a hand up, trying to claw through the water to find the surface.

Then he heard distant shouting, a crash, and then there was a strong arm around his body. He clutched at Ethan with both hands as the man swam up, breaking the surface. He was dragged to the riverbed, peeling away from Ethan to hack up the liquid in his lungs, throat rattling and body shivering violently.

Benji felt a hand on his back, rubbing gently in circular motions. He sucked the air back into his body, trying to control his breaths. Then he collapsed back into the firm body behind him, seeking warmth as he trembled in Ethan's arms.

Ethan shivered slightly too, the icy water clinging to his clothes. He held Benji tightly, as though he was afraid he would disappear back into the river. There was a few minutes where the two men just sat in each others arms, breathing heavily and hearts pounding.

Ethan found his voice first, breaking through the loud rushing of the river. "Benji, are you alright?"

He needed to cough a little more to be able to answer. "Yes, it- it woke me up a bit a-actually." Benji stammered. "Th-thank you by the way!"

"What happened?"

"Just l-lost my footing.. slipped, I guess."

Ethan narrowed his eyes, unsure this was the whole truth. But they had to get a move on before it got too dark outside to be seen by the helicopter.

Ethan hauled them both up, an arm still around Benji. "You good to walk?"

He didn't feel anywhere near good, but he wasn't too dizzy and he wasn't sleepy anymore. If they moved quickly, they might be able to reach the extraction point before he started drifting off again.

"Yeah, we should get going." Benji said, extracting himself from Ethan and starting through the passage.

They were both cold and tired and in pain, and neither felt up for conversation. So, they walked in silence, only talking to decide which way to go next. It seemed like they'd been following the winding rocky maze forever, and soon the dizziness was returning in strong bouts, growing worse with every step. It sapped away most of his strength, and Benji had no choice but to use the walls for support again. Thankfully, the sleepiness hadn't come back yet.

Just when he thought the tunnels would never end, they came to a stop beneath a ledge, just low enough to pull themselves up. Ethan immediately did so, then turned back to give Benji a hand.

But Benji was leaning on the far wall, hunched forwards, pale and drenched in sweat. He'd seemed fine after the river, and Ethan cursed himself for not paying closer attention to his health, instead of the directions.

"Benji?" He called over to him from the ledge.

"Hm, what are we doing now?" He mumbled, sounding slightly confused again. He looked up and saw Ethan reaching out to him from above. Benji pushed himself forwards and reached for his friend, who pulled him up onto the ledge.

Knowing he wouldn't get a straight answer, Ethan didn't bother to ask him if he was all right, instead placing his fingers on his neck to check his pulse. It was irregular and thready.

"You said you'd tell me if something was up." Ethan said gently, moving Benji's face by his chin so he was looking into his eyes. They were glazed over and distant.

"Benji?"

Benji blinked, trying desperatley not to give in. To hold on, just like Ethan had told him to. He focused on Ethan's face, pulling him back to the surface, just like he'd done back at the river.

"Ethan.."

"Hey, stay with me. Just a little longer. We'll be out soon, okay? You stay with me now."

"I'll try."

Ethan smiled softly, helping Benji back to his feet for the hundreth time this day. Truthfully, he didn't know how long it would take until they found their way out, but he needed Benji to believe. He needed Benji to keep going.

When they continued on this time, Ethan held his arm around Benji, supporting him. He could hear the younger man's laboured breathing, and on countless occasions, ended up pretty much dragging him rather than just keeping him steady.

And then there it was. Light! Just spilling through around the corner. Their way out.

Ethan let out a relieved laugh, quickening his pace. But then he stumbled, a heavy weight pulling him down. Benji had sunken to his knees, drawing in quick, sharp breaths.

"Benji? No, Benji. Come on! Look, can you see the light. We're so close. Don't give in now. Just a bit further.. Benji?"

He couldn't think, he couldn't breathe, his vision was growing dim at the edges. No longer having the energy to stay on his knees, he slumped to the ground.

"Ethan." He groaned, his eyes slipping shut. "I can't- not anymore- so tired."

Ethan felt his stomach churn, and he gripped Benji's shirt, trying to prevent him from fading away. "No, no, you mustn't go to sleep Benji! Please, you have to stay awake. You have to keep your mind switched on."

Benji opened his eyes and tried to push himself up, but he couldn't. The world was spinning so fast. He rolled heavily on his side, barely able to suppress a groan. He rested his cheek on the ground and squinted forwards, just making out the glowing light from outside.

He had to keep going, he had to hold on, for Ethan - but it was so hard. Too hard. He didn't even have the strength to hold his head up anymore. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't help it. His eyes slid shut, and this time, he didn't open them again


	3. Chapter 3

Ethan nearly cried out when Benji stopped moving. He shook him gently, then a bit harder. His pulse was still there, weak, but there. Though it was his mind he was worried about. When Benji woke up again, this time he might not remember anything. Ethan pushed this thought away, panic and determination flooding his body.

He wasn't going to let that happen.

Ethan stood, pulling Benji into his arms until he was cradling him. Then he continued walking towards the light, footsteps heavy, the wound in his arm straining painfully.

The grey darkness burst into brilliant white. The cold pricked at his skin. He squinted in the brightness, willing his eyes to adjust. Ethan had no idea where he was, so he just kept walking through the heavy snow fall, hugging Benji tightly to his chest.

Luther was right about the storm, it was ferocious.

He didn't know how far he'd gone before the whirring, beating sound of a helicopter sounded above his head. Ethan let out a sharp cry and fell to the ground, knees sinking into the deep snow. He pulled his arm away from Benji and waved it frantically, watching as the helicopter landed and little men jumped out.

But something was wrong.

Ethan brought his hand down, his grin faltering as the men drew guns. He dropped Benji into the snow and scrambled to get infront of him, pulling his own gun rapidly from the holster.

He heard a deep breath from behind him, followed by a groan. He glanced down to see Benji wearily sitting up. "Ethan.. you're bleeding."

Ethan felt many emotions rushing through his mind. Thank god Benji is conscious again. Thank god he knows who I am. But he doesn't remember I had a bullet wound. And now I'm probably going to get more bullet wounds, because the others from the hotel have managed to catch up with us and I don't know how to get us out of this.

"Benji, get your gun!"

Benji reached for his gun instinctively, still confused and half unconscious.

"Ethan? What's happening?" Benji asked, his words slurred.

But before Ethan could answer, one of the men who'd reached them first spoke.

"Where have you taken the missile?"

Ethan sighed. At least something had gone right. Brandt and Luther had obvioulsy gotten their hands on the missile. How long had they been in that cave?

"I don't know what you're talking about. We've been here, nowhere near your weapons."

"But you know where your team has taken it, so I'll ask you again, where is it?" The man shouted harshly, moving his gun from Ethan towards Benji.

And that flicked a trigger in Ethan. When will these men stop pointing their guns at his Benji?!

Ethan raised his gun and shot the man's hand, causing him to scream out in pain and drop his gun. Ethan made a lunge for it and then smashed it round the man's head, knocking him out. He'd done enough killing today. At the sound of gunshots, the other two men began shooting. Ethan could barely see through the thick fall of snow, and knew they couldn't either.

He sought one of the men out and crept up behind him, knocking him out too. Then he whirled around and came face to face with a gun, pointed directly between his eyes.

"It's over. Drop the gun, Hunt." The man sneered, and Ethan reluctantly obliged. Then a deafening shot rang out through the sleet and Ethan knew he'd been shot. The noise was ringing loudly in his ears. He shut his eyes.

But if he'd been shot, where was the pain? Or had he been killed instantly. Ethan opened his eyes, and through the blinding white, he saw a body on the floor infront of him. His head snapped quickly to his right just in time to see a figure topple to the ground.

"Benji!" He called, eyes squinting through the heavy storm.

Ethan skidded to a halt by Benji's side, hands flying over his friend's body to check for any further damage.

Benji chuckled weakly, his hands finding Ethan's to hold them still.

"Benji, what happened? I couldn't see- the snow-"

"Look who's all- all confused now." Benji laughed, forcing his words through his chattering teeth and foggy brain. "He had a gun to your head, so I sh- shot him. Saved you, d-didn't I?"

Ethan smiled, but it didn't last long. "Benji, you shouldn't have moved. You're hurt."

"Benji?"

"Benji?"

Ethan shook his arm, but he seemed to have passed out once again. Unconscious, but still fighting, judging from the way he was breathing.

He knew they couldn't stay out here in the storm. There was a reason they went through the caves. He was an idiot. He should have waited for the storm to die down, but his worry, relief and confidence had got the better of him. And now Ethan had no idea what direction to walk in. He doubted anyone looking for them would actually be able to find them in all this snow.

Their damp clothes were freezing solid, and Ethan could see Benji starting to turn blue. He wrapped his arms tightly around him, trying to share his non-existent warmth. Hypothermia messed with the mind, and with Benji's mind already messed up, that would not be a good combination.

He squinted up to the sky, trying to make out any shapes that could be a helicopter.

A helicopter.

Wait a minute....

Ethan cursed under his breath for not thinking of the obvious sooner. He gathered Benji in his arms once more and started walking in circles, getting bigger and bigger. He knew the men had landed the helicopter somewhere near, he just didn't know what direction. So, he'd walk in all the directions.

As he made the sixth circle, a black shape appeared in the distance. Ethan set off towards it with determination, letting out a small huff of relief when the shape came into view.

He precariously held Benji against the side of the helicopter, whilst trying to slide the door open. Pushing the unconscious man on board, he shut the door, silencing the roaring sound of the wind. It was a little warmer, but not much. Ethan immediately set about looking for blankets and a first aid kit.

After Benji had been bundled into a burrito, Ethan set about cleaning the wound on his head. It wasn't bleeding that much, just like Benji had said, so he'd leave it up to a professional.

Just as he was finishing with his own injury, he heard Benji stirring again. The man groaned, his hands clutching at his head after he sat up a little too quickly. He looked around the room, dazed and confused. His gaze settled on Ethan, and to Ethan's horror, there were tears sparkling in his beautiful blue eyes.

He was immediately by Benji's side as his friend started extracting himself from the blankets and looking around quickly, like he was searching for a way to escape.

"Benji. Benji, look at me. Your'e safe. I'm here." Benji didn't seem to be listening, just continued to squirm and panic. "Benji? What's wrong." Ethan laid a hand gently on Benji's arm to keep him where he was, and moved the blankets back over him. He looked up to see if he'd calmed down, and was met with big, frightened eyes.

"Ethan. Ethan I- I don't.. When- How did we- Where are we?" Benji stammered with a vice-like grip on his friends wrist.

Ethan didn't like seeing him like this, and brought a hand up to Benji's hair, stroking his fingers through it gently. The action seemed to calm him down, though he still felt tense.

"It's okay Benji. What's the last thing you remember?"

The technician squeezed his eyes shut, and Ethan thought he'd lost him again until he eventuallly answered.

"You jumped out a window."

Ethan would have smiled at this thought, but couldn't bring himself to enjoy the memory, when Benji had lost so many of his. Not that they were particularly nice memories. Ethan let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding and hoped this short term memory loss was temporary.

"You hit your head a few moments after that, and we've been trying to get to the extraction point ever since. There's a storm right now, so we're taking shelter. When it passes, I can drive this helicopter to extraction. It will be quicker."

"I hope you know how to fly this helicopter." Benji said skeptically, and Ethan's eyes lit up at the familiarity of Benji in the words.

However this didn't last long, because Benji suddenly looked vacant, distant. No longer looking at him but through him.

Ethan breathed in sharply, feeling an overwhelming need to hold him. Keep him close, safe. He gently moved towards Benji, so as not to startle him, but he seemed to be oblivious to everything. Ethan sat beside the bundle of blankets and wrapped an arm around his friend, pulling him carefully into his chest. He nestled his face into Benji's hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered after a while, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. Ethan couldn't bare to see Benji like this anymore, and though he'd been trying to deny it, it was all his fault. That man he killed, he hadn't hurt Benji. He hadn't knocked him off a god damn cliff. No, he'd done that. Ethan. And now Benji might never be the same again.

The world swam back to him at the feel of warm arms around his body and the sounds of sobs. Benji blinked, swallowing his queasiness and looking towards the noise.

He'd never seen Ethan cry before. Well, he wouldn't call it crying. The man was obviously trying to keep himself together. But it broke his heart.

Benji reached a shaky hand up to Ethan's face, placing his fingers on his cheek. "'than, what's wron'?" He slurred, continuously blinking through his haze, so as to see the older man clearer.

Ethan jumped a little, choking back another sob and tensing when Benji wiped away what little tears had escaped. Then he shook his head, moving away from Benji's hand.

"It's nothing. Don't worry yourself, you need to relax."

"If I relax, I'm going to fall asleep again. I'm trying Ethan, trying to fight it, but it's so hard. I feel so uncomfortable being conscious. I just want it to end."

"I know. I know, I'm sorry." Ethan tried to keep his voice steady.

"Talk.. talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." He needed a distraction. A reason to stay awake. If that reason was being there for Ethan, it may not be as hard. "Tell me what happened."

Ethan hesitated, then nodded. As Benji snuggled back into his arms, he began re-telling everything that happened. Benji focused hard on his voice and words, using them as an anchor to consciousness.

When Ethan had caught him up, tears were rising in his eyes again. "If I had just.. just done something different.. It's all my fault you're like this and I'm.." He took a deep breath then continued, "Benji, I'm scared. Scared you might drift away and don't come back this time. Or.. or that you are never able to remember anything again."

Benji had never seen this side to Ethan before. The agent was never scared, yet here he was, scared for him. He looked up at that sad, beautiful face. "But you saved me Ethan. I'd be dead if it weren't for you."

"I didn't save you! I just hurt you myself. I said before that I wouldn't let anything happen to you. But I have. And it was me who did it."

"Ethan please!" Benji raised his voice, sitting up and spinning to face him so fast his vision blacked out. He felt hands on his shoulders, and he fought to climb back into the light. Ethan's worried face swam back into view. Benji swallowed and continued. "Ethan, you blame yourself too much. You did all you could. It was an accident. An accident that saved my life. Sure, I'm a little messed up at the moment, but I'm alive! And that's because of you." His breathing had sped up with his speech, and he saw lights popping before his eyes.

But he kept himself steady, for Ethan.

"Look." Benji took Ethan's hands in his and placed them over his chest, so he could feel Benji's heartbeat. It was weak, but it was there. "See, you can't get rid of me that easily." He joked, and was relieved that it made Ethan's face light up.

Ethan smiled. Then he suddenly realised how close they were. He could feel the warmth radiating off Benji's chest onto his hands, still placed gently on his heart. Ethan moved his hand up, so it was tracing the side of Benji's face, feeling his own heart skip when the younger man leant into his touch. They stayed like that for a while, until Benji's calm face twisted.

"Ethan.. I'm so tired." Benji said with a small whimper, his uncomfort rising another level, too bad to distract himself from. He didn't want Ethan to worry further, but he couldn't filter his thoughts from words anymore.

Ethan just nodded, pulling Benji into the safety of his embrace again. "Just hold on for me Benji. Just a little longer. Please, hold on." He whispered into his hair.

Then he jumped, causing another whimper from the man in his arms, who he held tighter than ever as the helicopter doors slid open with a loud bang. Dread filled him as his thoughts went to the men he'd knocked out instead of killing.

"Ethan! Benji! You in here?"

"Brandt!" Ethan shouted, relief replacing the dread. It was over. They were safe. Benji was going to be okay!

"Benji? Benji, it's Brandt. We're getting out of here. You don't have to worry about me flying the helicopter." He laughed, leaning away from Benji.

The technician's eyes were closed, his breathing erratic.

"Benji!" Not now. They were so close.

"He has a concussion and needs medical attention asap!" Ethan found himself shouting, looking desperately up at Brandt with Benji clutched in his arms.

Brandt nodded sharply and left the helicopter, returning with a medic and what looked like a pilot, who climbed immediately into the cockpit.

"We're taking this helicopter instead." Brandt explained, helping Ethan step away from Benji to let the medic do his job. "We don't want to risk moving him too much."

They strapped themselves in, Ethan never taking his eyes off Benji as they rose into the air and began their journey to the nearest hospital.

Ethan paced up and down the hospital corridor, waiting impatiently to be allowed to see Benji. He'd been told that Benji had nearly coded during surgery. He held onto the word 'nearly' and awaited further news.

Brandt was standing a few feet away from Ethan, knowing not to interrupt the man and drag him to a room for someone to check his bullet wound. Luther sat on a bench beside him, crutches leaning against the wall, also watching Ethan warily.

Soon a doctor approached the agitated man and Ethan stopped pacing. "You may see him now, though I ask you don't crowd him." The doctor looked pointedly at Brandt and Luther. "One at a time please. He may still be slightly confused, but his memory loss was temporary and his head is healing nicely."

Ethan let out a sigh of relief, running a hand through his hair. He thanked the doctor, took a deep breath, then entered the room. Benji was awake and looking dazed, the medication probably increasing it, but the colour had returned to his face. He looked up as Ethan entered the room, frowning slightly.

"How am I in a hospital? Did you fly that helicopter Ethan?"

Ethan laughed and sat beside him, shaking his head.

"You will be pleased to hear that, no, I did not fly the helicopter."

Benji let out a hum of approval.

"Are you okay?"

Benji smiled at him, his eyes no longer glazed over like before.

"I'm fine now Ethan. But you need to get this checked." His fingers lightly circled the wound on Ethan's arm. The older man's breath hitched at the gentle touch, but Benji quickly pulled away, thinking it was because of pain.

"Benji, do you remember what happened?"

"Bits and pieces. I remember you telling me about it though. In the helicopter." His gaze trailed over Ethan, lingering on his hands. He looked back up at his face. "Ethan, you do know it isn't your fault? Please, tell me you aren't still blaming yourself."

Ethan shook his head, avoiding Benji's eyes. "I will always blame myself partly for what happened. I can't help it. I was the one who pushed you down there." He paused, looking back up and nearly wincing at the pained look on Benji's face. "But I know now that, although I put you through all that pain, I did keep you from dying. And if that is what it takes to stop me from losing you, I would do it all over again. Because, I can't lose you Benji."

"And you didn't lose me Ethan. You fought to keep me safe, and I fought to stay with you. I held on, just like you told me to. I held on for you."

Ethan's stomach flipped as he reached forwards to place a hand over Benji's chest, feeling his strong and steady heartbeat. Benji was alive. He was safe. Everything was going to be okay.

Before long, he felt the heartbeat getting faster, and for a few seconds, Ethan panicked. But then he saw the way Benji was looking at him, his cheeks slowly reddening. Ethan leant forwards, resting his forehead against Benji's and watched as the younger man's gaze flickered down to his lips.

Yes. Everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed this randomness. 
> 
> My tumblr is @paperrkites if you're at all interested, aha


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